The Great British Chain Matcha Massacre with Cafe Nero

The Matcha Misadventure: Caffè Nero's Pistachio Plunge

As you might recall from my previous chain cafe matcha reviews (a truly harrowing journey), the track record of British high-street chains handling the delicate green powder is... unimpressive. Like, spectacularly bad. I did left a few gaps, either because the chains hadn't caught the matcha bug yet or the chain is not common enough.

Looks good on the advert

Caffè Nero. I was strolling by and saw the sign of their new Pistachio Matcha drink. Pistachio and matcha! Two of the most ridiculously hyped-up ingredients of 2025, fused into one potentially glorious beverage. It sounded like a wellness guru's dream. My impulsive side (the one that pays for my blogging habit) screamed: "Records are meant to be broken! Maybe, just maybe, they got it right!"

So, I paid £4.80 to get it. A small price for journalism, a huge price for a bad drink.

The Taste Test: The Betrayal

Disgusting green drink (I can't say it is matcha)

It was absolutely disgusting. Seriously, this drink had an identity crisis worse than a teenager at a rave. I was expecting the earthy, slightly bitter embrace of matcha and the subtle, creamy nuttiness of pistachio. What I got was a full-frontal assault of ALMOND FLAVOR. Seriously, where did the almond even come from? It tasted like cheap marzipan had mugged a teacup.

There was zero discernible matcha flavour. Zero pistachio. It was a lie in a cup. I honestly question Caffè Nero's audacity to advertise this concoction with the words "matcha" or "pistachio." It was horrendous. My first sip instantly triggered buyer's remorse so intense I almost wanted to bin it straight.

If you want the real, vibrant, soothing experience of proper matcha, for the love of all that is delicious, AVOID ALL BRITISH CHAIN CAFES. Seriously, walk the extra mile and go to an authentic bubble tea shop.

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